Say It Ain't So...

I don't care what anyone says -- it's never a good sign when an album gets pushed up three weeks. After giving the new self-titled Weezer record a few spins, it's apparent why the people at Geffen are pulling out all the stops to get the band's sixth studio release out of their hair pronto. But alas, this is what it has come to. Which is unfortunate, because I have always been this band's number one advocate. When critics seemed to universally lampoon Pinkerton in 1996, I stood by the guys through the thick and thin of it. After the appropriately tittled Maladroit received it's early lukewarm reception in 2002, I dismissed the bad karma and was still first in line to pick up my limited edition numbered copy. Unfortunately, a diehard can only give a band so many chances before admitting that his once favorite band has officially jumped the shark.

I was initially excited when I heard the power-chord punch offered in leadoff single "Pork & Beans." This was the Weezer of yesteryear that I knew and grew to love. Had Rivers and gang finally learned to replicate their mid-nineties power-pop glory? On this song, yes. On the rest of the album? Not even a chance. And I'm not even asking the band to make another Blue Album or Pinkerton per se; this would be a nearly impossible feat. But for a band that has traditionally taken an exceptional amount of time to record and release new material, it is frustrating to consider that this is the best they can offer. The trainwreck begins on "Troublemaker" -- a nonsensical tune that has the lyrical sophistication of a six-year old. With lines like, "Put me in a special school/Cause I am such a fool/And I don't need a single book to teach me how to read/Who needs stupid books/They are for petty crooks," this song makes "Beverly Hills" sound like an opus. The five and half minute "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" experiments with about a dozen tempo changes, and seems to go everywhere but in a positive direction. "Heart Songs" is a snoozer and the band reaches new levels of failure on the Scott Shriner-sung "Thought I Knew." The gang saves some face on the poppy "Dreamin'," which is admittedly not a half-bad tune. However, this is really the only other check in the win column I'll give them. In lieu of their once-patented endearing quirkiness, we are given a handful of songs that are just uninspired and asinine.

My Rating 4.0/10